Special Delivery - A True Story
Friday, April 23rd, 2010Because I live in an apartment complex, whenever I receive a package, the mailman has to buzz my room. If I am not at home, he cannot enter the apartment building, and therefore has to leave a paper notice that he will return later to deliver the package again. Naturally, this is very troublesome for both the driver and myself.
A few days ago, I happened to be across the street from my apartment building, when I noticed the mailman approaching the front door of my apartment. I watched as a he buzzed a room number but I couldn’t see which numbers he pressed. However, I was expecting a package, so I started to run to the crosswalk to try to intercept the package. As I was running, a man sitting on the sidewalk said to me: “Hey man, you got a lighter?”I was in the midst of running and concentrating on catching the mailman, who was returning to his mail truck with the package. So, my brain used its remaining 12% to interpret what this man had said to me, which popped into my head as: “Hey man, you got a letter?” I was surprised that he had recognized my intent to intercept the mailman, but still unsure if the package was for me or not. So I gave an honest reply: “Maybe!” This reply seemed to confuse the man, so I re-processed what he said and heard the correct translation with “lighter.” So I quickly added, “I mean, no, sorry.” I then resumed running.
The mailman was now inside of his truck. I knocked on the door. He opened and I said, “Were you delivering a package for &%&*(the secret number to my apartment)?” He replied: “Why, yes!” I replied: “Is it for &((^&%%**(the secret name of this anonymous writer which has nothing to do with the name of this website)?” As a result, I got my package. The mailman didn’t have to re-deliver it, and I didn’t have to cancel all of my plans and wait around to receive it. What a happy ending, eh?
